Dad and the Sling

I feel as though I spent my entire day in the car. It was bad enough that when we first got into the parking structure, some chick drove the wrong way in her BMW, cut me off, and stole a prime parking space. I ended up going all the way to the top floor, and even then I got the last spot. Then we rode the world’s *slowest* elevator all the way down. First stop was the medical secretary office, where he turned in papers to register for state disability, then I dropped off my prescription, after that we walked to the medical library, and last we went to the orthopedics department in an attempt to get dad’s sling fixed. The chick at the counter really didn’t know what we were talking about, so we left a message. All of that madness at the evil empire took at least an hour and a half. On the way back down the maze-like parking structure I was stuck behind some Mitsubishi that was dropping some one off, and the kid took forever to get out. I’m usually a patient chica, but spending such a long period of time there made me cranky. My dad laughed when I announced "This parking lot is a prime example of the fascist manner in which this entire institution is run." Fascist is my favourite word for describing Shmiser.

My reward for all that waiting was lunch at Tsuguru, a restaurant in Japantown. Mmm! There’s nothing like tenpura udon to soothe one’s crankiness. My dad likes to order the oyako

When I got home my bank statement came, so off I went into the big bad world again to make a deposit. So of course, instead of taking the freeway like a smart girl, I took the expressway. What a mistake that turned out to be. There was a fresh accident on Almaden Expressway at Foxworthy Avenue. Police, ambulances, and fire engines came roaring into the intersection, effectively blocking the entire thing. If I didn’t have a fresh ticket, I might have jumped the curb like everyone else and driven to a different branch of the bank. But I was still a little gun shy (maybe "cop shy" would be more appropriate.) As we squeezed between emergency vehicles, I spotted a body in the road. In all of the accidents I’ve been in, I’ve never been thrown from my vehicle.

As I pulled into the driveway, I imagined relaxing for a bit. Maybe writing a letter or knitting, But NO! My dad’s surgeon called back and said we should go to the cast room if we needed help with the sling. What? Why didn’t the woman behind the desk in orthopedics tell us this. This time we drove in my dad’s car, because it has automatic locks. My dad can only get comfortable in the bask seat behind the driver, because of that damn sling. In my car, this meant that I had to unlock all four doors. (Because the back doors don’t have exterior locks.) After waiting for an opening in the cast room for about ten minutes, it was our turn. Although the employees were nice, they didn’t really seem to know any better than me how to get the cling on correctly. They wrestled with it for awhile before figuring it out.

Back we went to the car. We were headed to Mervyn’s because my dad wanted to buy a really big button down flannel to wear over his sling. That store didn’t have anything big enough though. Our only hope was Big & Tall, which is back in the opposite direction from which we just came. It was in this store that we hit the jackpot, scoring a giant sized flannel for $19.99. Dad was getting back into the backseat, and I was reaching back to buckle the seatbelt. "You have skinny arms! You can do it!" he said. But it took every bit of stretch I had in me to be able to reach. I lost it! I tried to stop myself, but I couldn’t help it. At first it was just giggles, but then it was full fledged laughing. Over the weekend my dad and I had been watching "Fawlty Towers", a real gem from the BBC which aired in the 70's. One character, Manuel, can barely speak English and is always getting into to trouble. Manuel never understands what people are saying and is always saying "Ees dee-fi-cult! Ees dee-fi-cult for mee!" Between my spasms of laugher I managed to squeak out "Ees dee- fi -cult!" Then my dad started to laugh and we both nearly had tears streaming down out faces when it was all over!

Psst! I've got a boyfriend, he's in love with me! I can't wait for him to get back. He's the best Valentine in the entire world!

~Tragic